“Oh, let me put the milk away, real quick!” On my way out the door, I grab the milk from the table and put it away in the pantry. As I scramble to grab my purse, car keys and phone; the phone rings. I answer “Hey babe, can I call you back? I am running late to the kids appointment and I CANT FIND MY PHONE!”
If you are reading this and you are the loving individual on the other side of this phone call, if you are smart, you will smile and say “sure babe.” Never to mention the fact that your loved one probably realizes NOW that she has the phone and feels ridiculous.
I get to the car and my daughter quickly gives me a concerned look and says “Um Mom, you might want to brush your hair again, it looks kind of crazy!” I then realize, I haven’t looked in the mirror, not once, the whole morning. I just motion for her to get in the car and let it be. Then, I look back and see my sons idea of the perfect winter outfit for a going out in public is; a pair of basketball shorts (Orange-Like kool-aid orange) with a different shade of orange shirt that has a HUGE jack-o’-lantern in front of it, with black and green flip flops. Its 2017 people, Halloween is over and no where near by. I sit there and weigh how much pride I have left. Is it worth being later to the appointment and or missing it completely, in order to have hair combed and my son in matching WINTER clothes?
*Pause Story, again….
For those of you that may not know, I homeschool my kids. Its a long story and maybe Ill share it one day. But, there is this thought that lingers in the minds of people that don’t homeschool. They think that homeschoolers are weird, socially awkward, and…… weird. I would argue that ALL people are weird and that even schooled kids are socially awkward. I was probably one of the most socially awkward kids EVER and I went to school. Homeschoolers are normal, smart, amazing, and yes…some are socially awkward. Not because they homeschool, but because their human. They come in all shapes and sizes and are pretty amazing.
*Back to the story…
I have this battle in my mind. If I show up looking like I came out of a train wreck and my son dressed like a bad Halloween costume. What are people going to think? They are going to think I am lazy. They are going to think that my kids are weird and pity them for having parents that want to keep them living under a rock. They are going to think my son is going to fail in life BECAUSE he has no clue how to dress himself properly for winter (he actually does know, but he’s not usually cold in winter. He likes to dress in shorts all year round)!
They are going to think I am a— BAD MOM.
Mom Brain. That’s basically how it works guys. It’s a glimpse of what it looks like. We are a crazy hot mess, trying to make sure our kids are educated, fed, clothed, healthy, loved, and prepared for adulthood. In the process we some times nail it and some times, we fake till we make it. Some days I look amazing and some days, I leave the house a mystery even to myself.
On those days where I am barely able to hang on, I feel this doubt come over me. All kinds of negative thoughts and outcomes play in my mind like a bad single on repeat. Every negative word a person spoke over me and my decisions, just replays. Bad Mom. Bad Mom. Bad Mom.
Mom Brain is real. As a matter a fact, its normal. We all have it. We just don’t like to admit it. I want to encourage you all out there, whether you have one or 50 kids. You are a Good Mom. If your kids are educated (whatever way you see fit to teach them), if your kids are fed (yes, hot dogs and chicken nuggets count), if your kids are healthy, if you kids know they are loved, then you my friends are Good Moms! Just do your very best, hang on and enjoy the ride!
Now before I get stoned, I know I am writing a blog that emphasizes healthy eating, yet I just mentioned hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Im not trying to judge people. Thats not my job. I am trying to encourage those that feel discouraged. I have felt discouraged about motherhood, many times. Life does not play fair. Im just trying to level the playing field. Some times, we just need to remember perfection is not the goal. Love is the goal.
Love yourself and those in your care well today! You got this!